Finding hope
I sat on the floor with my chin resting on my knees and my
arms wrapped around my legs. Tears poured down my cheeks. I bit my lip to hold
back the sobs. I didn’t want to wake my baby from her afternoon nap as she slept
peacefully in the travel cot opposite me. As despair churned in my stomach, I
pushed down the desire to howl out loud. I could hear the television in the
next room as my husband sat watching Sunday afternoon sports. He knew I wasn’t
happy, but I didn’t want to burden him with the extent of my distress.
I loved my husband and my five-month-old blue-eyed daughter,
but I couldn’t stand for a moment longer the life I now had. Actually, it
wasn’t a life—it felt more like a shadow of existence.
I had left my home behind, across the other side of the
Atlantic. There I had a career, a cozy home with a garden we had dreamed of
owning for a long time and had purchased a year earlier, lunches with girlfriends,
morning walks with my dog in the park, and a chance to show off the newest
grandchild.
Now I found myself in a strange country mourning the
lifestyle I missed, muddling through in a rented apartment, and knowing no one.
I could see no way out. I didn’t know where
to turn.
“I don’t know what to do.” I screamed silently. Then
suddenly, in the midst of my pain, I remembered God.
“Help me,” I cried. I hadn’t
spoken to God for a long time.
Yet, at that moment, I knew he heard my plea. In an instance I
felt an overwhelming sense of peace.
God had taken notice of me even though I had turned my back
on him for years, and had decided I could live my life without him. God didn’t
ignore me for deciding to go my own way, and thinking I knew better.
The moment I turned to him, I experienced his grace poured
out on me. He met me in my misery, declared abundant love for me, and set me
free to start living again.
But with one touch, you set me free, you
met me in my deepest need, says the song by Kathryn Scott. These words tell my story of how God rescued me. I hope it is your story,
too.
Author Bio
Rachel Britton is an author, blogger and speaker. Raised on
the east coast of England, Rachel now lives in Massachusetts with her husband
and three children. Rachel is passionate about helping women become healthier in their
relationship with God, with others, and with themselves, and to thrive from the
inside out. You can find out more about Rachel at www.rachelbritton.com
(This post was written by Rachel Britton as a part of the Our Heart's Song Blog Series this year. I encourage you to read her story and check out her website. This is one of the many incredible women that I had the privilege to meet at the SheSpeaks Conference I attended in July 2015.)
(This post was written by Rachel Britton as a part of the Our Heart's Song Blog Series this year. I encourage you to read her story and check out her website. This is one of the many incredible women that I had the privilege to meet at the SheSpeaks Conference I attended in July 2015.)
No comments:
Post a Comment