It happened one night
in October of 2009. I woke up in a cold sweat and something was not right. I
figured it was a heart attack, but I didn't know for sure. It was around four
o'clock in the morning and Joe was sleeping. I felt all alone and scared to death.
Not sure what was going to happen, I began to pray. As my mind began to go over
the things that I was facing, I was filled with regret. My biggest regret was
not that I didn't have a better car or a newer T.V., or a bigger house, but
that I had not been living for God. I had not spent purposeful time with God
for some time and I had not included Him in my plans. I was pursuing money as
greedily as I could, often putting in sixteen hour workdays and I had excluded
God from my life.
I am grateful that God
is a God of second, third and fourth chances and that our God is a God of grace
and mercy. He saved me that night in a physical way, although my soul had
already been saved spiritually. He allowed me to start again and to live for Him.
It turned out that I was not having a heart attack, but I would find myself in
the same position time and time again, cold, scared, with my heart racing,
night after night. A series of E.R. trips and visits to the doctors took much
time and money to discover multiple things wrong. A tooth infection had to be
treated immediately with antibiotics and a wisdom tooth needed to be removed. I
suffered allergic reactions to the antibiotic and began having allergies to all
sorts of foods and became restricted to just a few 'safe' foods. I was having
hyperthyroid attacks as well and dropped a considerable amount of weight fairly
quickly. Overnight my world changed.
Eating out would be
off limits and travel would become difficult. Stamina was a thing of the past
and I could no longer take care of myself by myself. I needed help with almost
everything. I lost musculature due to inactivity and the hyperthyroidism. A lot
of the old things dropped off. But, so did a lot of the old ways of being. The
pursuit of money lost its appeal. Petty things, and trivial things which used
to upset me became things that I could not waste time or energy on. I had to be
content with things as they were. I had to trust and rely on God. I can
remember sitting by the window and watching dawn turn to day and day turn to
afternoon and afternoon giving way to evening, with evening giving way to night
and night eventually brightening into dawn. I watched clouds pass by slowly, as
days would pass, and I gradually developed a different sense of life.
We were put here for a
purpose. God made us specific and gave us time and talents as well as
resources. My resources are not yours and vice versa, but God has a task for
you, friend. For me, my first task was to let Him be Lord and to put Him in
charge of my life. I would listen for His directives and, as I got stronger, if
He said 'Go here, and do this', that is what I would do, relying on Him for
courage, strength and guidance. If God's Word says something, I try to live it
out in the same way. It wasn't long before God enabled me to do foster care, to
engage in volunteer work and to begin writing and working in music ministry. I
do everything by God's power, and not in my own strength, and my guiding
principle is this: 'But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving
your own selves.' James 1:22
I know that God has a
plan for my life and that He has a plan for yours. It is best to simply allow
Him to use you as He will. He will provide the time, resources, and strength
that you need. He will also provide wisdom. It is good to spend time with God
daily in prayer and Bible reading and to be associated with a Bible-believing
local church. You will want to surround yourself with committed Christians who
can give counsel to you when necessary as well. But the main thing is to simply
trust God to do what is right with your life. He will guide you in the best way
possible. He will give your life true meaning and purpose. He has done this for
me and His blessings have been abundant. Today, let us endeavor to live each
day with God, and let us say with the Psalmist 'So teach us to
number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.'
Psalm 90:12
Author Bio:
Joe
and Rosa Hopkins play country gospel and Christian Contemporary Music.
They feel a call on their life to play music for God and to tell people
how to get saved.The music is written and performed
by Joe and Rosa Hopkins. Joe plays the guitar, ukulele, harmonica,
mandolin, banjo, and fiddle. Rosa plays the guitar, mandolin, ukulele
and harmonica.
Together they write songs which proclaim God's word and
His Kingdom.
(This post was written by Rosa Hopkins as a part of the Our Heart's Song Series this month. I encourage you to read her story and check out her website. This is one of the many incredible women that I will have the privilege to meet at the SheSpeaks Conference, at the end of this month, where over 800 women across the world will gather together and ask God to take us to the next level in our speaking/writing ministry. I ask that you would please pray for each woman as she shares her story.)
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